Yesterday was one long ass day. It began at 3:54am when someone texted me. Being the worried Jewish mother that I am, I checked to make sure it wasn’t a family member in Minnesota texting with bad news. It was from someone simply saying “hi”. Really? 3:54 in the morning to say hi when you know I am a mom/teacher who never gets to sleep in on a Saturday?!?! I was pissed. I ignored it and crawled back into bed. I fell into a fitful half sleep for awhile until my alarm, which I had forgotten to unset rang loudly at 5am. I was pissed. I turned that off and fell into my bed. Again. Ten minutes later, Dash came in. I asked him what was wrong and he said he just “needed some snuggling”. Yeah, couldn’t be pissed at that. He curled into me like a kitten and promptly fell back to sleep. I dozed until my phone rang at 6:17am. Someone I actually like talking to but couldn’t muster the energy. Too tired to be pissed. I laid there, willing myself to go back to sleep with my five and a half year old snoring up a storm. Ten minutes later, just as I could feel my eyes close, Max woke up and asked for breakfast. Okay, I’m up now. Whatever.
Coffee, super-hero-chocolate milk, cartoons and an argument of who got to go on the computer first. I acquiesced and let Max go on first. I corrected papers, made a phone call (to someone in Minnesota who was two hours ahead of me) and with that the day began. Oh look, it was 7am.
After making the request for the kids to get dressed and brush their teeth six times, we finally got to the YMCA around 10am and I mustered up the caffeinated energy I needed to work out. I figured we had two birthday parties to go to so working out would be the pre-emptive strike I needed to allow cake. Twice.
Birthday party number one. Outside in the beautiful California sunshine, eight year old children chased each other around the lawn, munched on pizza and cake and screamed and giggled with glee. Yes, there was actual glee. I had remembered to bring my multi-level enzymes so I could actually eat pizza. Ah, the life of a forty-three year old, well, forty-three and three quarters year old, who can no longer digest anything properly. My spasming esophagus reminds me of this daily. So, multi-level enzymes and aloe vera juice and I keep the gluten and raw food to a minimum; but I was really hungry and there was pizza so whatever. Oh please, I have to take enzymes when I eat a freakin salad too. Seriously.
Then the magician arrived. Yikes and a half. All of the mommies watched this man walk in and the same two thoughts seemed to occur to all of us. When was the last time this man had sex and wow, this man belongs in a Star Trek shirt. Balding and long hair at the same time with a polyester suit. Puns and silly humor geared to small children (which was good considering it was a children’s birthday party) cool magic tricks that astounded my children and magic wands in the goody bags. Dash was so taken by the disappearing rabbits and magic cards that I asked the magic man how much he charged for a children’s birthday party. After he told me how much he charged I said thanks and turned to leave. He grabbed my arm and yanked me a bit closer to him. He tried to engage in a dialogue as I tried to escape. He asked for my number and right at that moment, Max had a bathroom issue. Thank goodness for my children. I ran quickly away and then oops, we had to leave for the next party. Whew.
Seriously not enough magic in the world…
I dropped Max off at his dad’s and ran a few errands with Dash before the next bash began; all the while with him toting along his magic wand. He turned me into a rabbit, a turtle, an elephant and a princess. Although the last one didn’t take much magic.
Birthday party number two was Dash’s best friend's so we had to go home and change clothes because in his words, he wasn’t dressed up enough. I love that. My little fashion plate.
The second party. Outside in the beautiful California sunshine, five year old children chased each other around the lawn, munched on pizza and cake and screamed and giggled with glee. Yes, there was actual glee. Again. I love the sound of glee. Plus there was a bounce house and nothing says fun like a bounce house. Personally, I try to avoid actually going into the bounce house with the kids as there are not enough sports bras in the world for that activity.
After an hour and a half, Dash was starting to crash. Too much sugar and no nap. For both of us. We left and I dropped him at his dad’s for their regular Saturday night sleepover otherwise known as “mommy’s night to recharge her batteries”. Also known as “mommy’s night to drink wine”. I promptly opened a bottle and collapsed on my couch. Then the eternal Saturday night question popped into my head: To go out or not to go out? My mom keeps telling me I need to go out more but the idea of leaving my couch...hmmm. Plus there were things to watch on my DVR. Couch it was. I think I lasted until 10:30pm and then fell asleep while watching My Favorite Year.
I’m getting boring and lazy in my old age. Perhaps I will go out next weekend. Hey if I get desperate, there is always the scary magician guy. (shudder)
What I really need to do is to go out dancing. I mean, when was the last time I went out dancing? Dancing is fun. At least I remember that it was fun...hmmm. Anyone want to go out dancing next weekend? Of course I would have to leave my couch for that. Although I could just dance on my couch…
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