Oh yeah, like that was decaf

When you go to Starbucks at 7:30pm to read a book and wait to pick up your kids from their dad’s house and order a decaf, you expect it to be decaf.  Yes, it was that salted caramel latte that I spent four bucks on, but it should still be decaf, right?  Yes, I know that decaf does have some caffeine in it, but still, it shouldn’t make me feel like I’ve taken one of my ADHD student’s medications.  Right?  Oh, crap, am I awake right now. 

I have been up since 5am (because it’s a school day) and have not stopped going since 5am.  This was my day:

5am wake up to Kei$ha, cuz that makes me dance down the stairs to get my coffee.

5:10 watch news to make sure the world hasn't ended, check horoscope, laugh at horoscope, update status on Facebook, check email, check weather.

5:15 put ice pack on eyes to reduce the puffiness from just, ya know, waking up in the morning and being up at, ya know, 5am.

5:30 go upstairs apply concealer and hit myself with a pretty stick.  Complain to myself about my recession hair cut and vow to get it cut soon.  Attempt a bun cuz it’s very teachery looking.

5:45 get dressed

5:50 change clothes

5:55 change clothes again

6am wake up the munchkins with the “morning song” (It’s super annoying and I don’t stop singing until they are outta bed)

6:05 argue with Dash about what he is going to wear today

6:10 breakfast for the boys and cartoons (right now it is all about Pokémon)

6:30 tell the boys to get dressed

6:35 tell the boys to get dressed

6:40 tell the boys to get dressed

6:50 head out the door

6:55 come back to get what I forgot

7am drop off the boys

7:30 arrive at work (on time, for a change)

7:35 say good morning to 100 students

7:45 review what I am teaching because for the life of me, I cannot remember

7:50 turn on Pandora and blare Pink as loud as I can.  Forget that Raise Your Glass has the F-word in it and lower it just enough as to not hear it outside my classroom

8am start class with the first of the 9^th grade classes.  Listen to them complain, hand in homework, receive excuses about why they are not doing their homework.  Quiz them, decode figurative language, try diligently to teach them the difference between direct and indirect objects.  Wonder if it is too late to change careers and become a Cowboy

Repeat for each class of the day

For the rest of the school day:  Play therapist to the girl who just was dumped, the girl whose brother was killed, the boy who wants to drop out, the seniors who are writing their personal essays for college applications.  Remind the seniors to fund raise.  Hear complaints from the seniors about fund raising.  Grade papers, lesson plan, get observed by the principal, breathe. Remind myself to breathe.

3:45 leave as soon as the bell rings (and not a freakin minute later), pretend to be on the phone as to not to talk to anymore students

3:50 get cornered by students

4pm escape to my new car named Tito.  Admire the little flames on his rear end. Become confused as I get into it as it is still so clean and has that new car smell.  Is this really MY car?  Notice there is not one juice box on the floor.  Hmmm...

4:20 go to Trader Joes (it was a tossup between Trader Joes and Target; but then again, when isn’t it?)

4:45 pick up boys, chat with moms, plan playdates, wipe off dirty faces, blow noses

5pm drop off kids at the dreaded x’s  for dinner

5:30 arrive at the YMCA to work off anxiety

6:45 sit in steam room after my work out and just breathe. 

7:30 go to Starbucks to waste time before picking up the boys.  I swear I ordered a decaf, but who cares cuz it’s a salted caramel latte and it’s super yummy.  (I may have mentioned that but the yummy-ness was worth repeating) Read the Bless Me Ultima because I will be teaching this book that I have never read in  two weeks. 

7:45 check out the cute guy who is checking me out

7:50 realize he is really not that cute because I have left my glasses in the car

8pm pick up boys from the dreaded x’s apartment

8:15 discuss Pokémon

8:30 tell the boys to get ready for bed

8:35 tell the boys to get ready for bed

8:40 tell the boys to get ready for bed

8:45 read Dash his favorite book entitled Elmer. We love the patchwork elephant.

9am boys are asleep.  Aaahhhh.

9:15 read emails from students.  “What was the homework, Ms Levine?”  “Is anything due tomorrow, Ms Levine?”  “Can you write me a letter of recommendation, Ms Levine?”

10:30 realize it was NOT decaf

10:35 start writing blog

11pm pray for sleepiness

11:15 realize I have nothing more to write

And that was my day.  How was yours?  No, seriously?